Listings

May 2025
Jun 2025
Jul 2025
Aug 2025
Sep 2025
Oct 2025
Nov 2025
Dec 2025
Jan 2026
Mar 2026
May 2026
Wed 21 May 2025
Work in Progress
Faversham
The Alex
Wed 04 Jun 2025
Work in Progress
Fareham
Studio One
Tue 10 Jun 2025
Work in Progress
Hastings
Comedy Festival
Fri 13 Jun 2025
Work in Progress
Guildford
G Live Bellerby Studio
Fri 20 Jun 2025
Work in Progress
Bromley
Churchill Studio
Tue 01 Jul 2025
Work in Progress
Shoreham-by-Sea
Ropetackle Arts Centre
Thu 03 Jul 2025
Work in Progress
Bordon
Phoenix Arts
Wed 30 Jul 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Edinburgh
Cabaret Bar at Pleasance Courtyard
Thu 31 Jul 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Edinburgh
Cabaret Bar at Pleasance Courtyard
Fri 01 Aug 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Edinburgh
Cabaret Bar at Pleasance Courtyard
Sat 02 Aug 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Edinburgh
Cabaret Bar at Pleasance Courtyard
Sun 03 Aug 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Edinburgh
Cabaret Bar at Pleasance Courtyard
Tue 05 Aug 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Edinburgh
Cabaret Bar at Pleasance Courtyard
Wed 06 Aug 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Edinburgh
Cabaret Bar at Pleasance Courtyard
Thu 07 Aug 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Edinburgh
Cabaret Bar at Pleasance Courtyard
Fri 08 Aug 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Edinburgh
Cabaret Bar at Pleasance Courtyard
Sat 09 Aug 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Edinburgh
Cabaret Bar at Pleasance Courtyard
Sun 10 Aug 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Edinburgh
Cabaret Bar at Pleasance Courtyard
Thu 04 Sep 2025
Work in Progress
Walton on Thames
Riverhouse Barn
Fri 12 Sep 2025
Work in Progress
Cranleigh
Cranleigh Arts
Sat 27 Sep 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Maidenhead
Norden Farm
Thu 02 Oct 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Richmond
Georgian Theatre Royal
Fri 03 Oct 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Newark
Palace Theatre
Sat 04 Oct 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Chelmsford
Theatre
Fri 10 Oct 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Birmingham
MAC
Sat 11 Oct 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Buxton
Pavilion Arts Centre
Sun 12 Oct 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Oxford
North Wall Arts Centre
Thu 16 Oct 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Tunbridge Wells
Trinity Theatre
Fri 17 Oct 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Norwich
Playhouse
Sat 18 Oct 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Norwich
Playhouse
Thu 06 Nov 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Worcester
Huntingdon Hall
Fri 07 Nov 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Chesham
Elgiva Theatre
Thu 13 Nov 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Chester
Storyhouse Garret
Fri 14 Nov 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Bury St Edmunds
The Apex
Wed 19 Nov 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Hexham
Queen's Hall
Thu 20 Nov 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Barnard Castle
The Witham
Fri 21 Nov 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Pocklington
Arts Centre
Sat 22 Nov 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Wantage
The Beacon
Wed 26 Nov 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Canterbury
Gulbenkian
Thu 27 Nov 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Teddington
Landmark Arts Centre
Fri 28 Nov 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Brighton
The Old Market
Sat 29 Nov 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Hedge End
Berry Theatre
Thu 04 Dec 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Swanage
The Mowlem
Fri 05 Dec 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Tiverton
TCAT
Sat 06 Dec 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Great Torrington
Plough Arts Centre
Wed 10 Dec 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Tewkesbury
The Roses
Thu 11 Dec 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Stamford
Corn Exchange
Fri 12 Dec 2025
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Bath
Roper Theatre
Thu 29 Jan 2026
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Aldershot
West End Centre
Fri 13 Mar 2026
Please #@!$ off to Mars
London
Leicester Square Theatre
Fri 20 Mar 2026
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Loughborough
Town Hall
Sat 21 Mar 2026
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Lichfield
Garrick Theatre
Thu 26 Mar 2026
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Shrewsbury
Theatre Severn
Sat 16 May 2026
Please #@!$ off to Mars
Bradford
Alhambra

Life is hard. Come and have a laugh about it.

After his nationwide critical-smash sellout 2023/24 Tour, Andy is back with a brand-new show. As seen on Netflix, Amazon Prime, BBC iPlayer, Live at the Apollo, Mock the Week, and his 2025 NextUp stand-up special.

'Hysterical. Andy Parsons is on fire' The Mirror

'Very funny' - The Times

'Laugh-out-loud funny' - The Sunday Telegraph

'It's great to welcome sharp, topical comedy and Parsons remains one of its most skilful exponents' - The Guardian

'Potato-headed' - The Evening Standard

Latest Reels

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Increase your Happiness Curve - get tickets for NEW tour from my website #happiness #standupcomedy #comedyreels

Increase your Happiness Curve - get tickets for NE...

Get tickets for NEW tour ‘Please #@!$ Off To Mars’ at my website #vegan #standup #comedy

Get tickets for NEW tour ‘Please #@!$ Off To Mar...

Get tickets for NEW tour ‘Please #@!$ Off To Mars’ from my website #standupcomedy #uk

Get tickets for NEW tour ‘Please #@!$ Off To Mar...

Get tickets for NEW tour at andyparsons.co.uk - Cat-lovers welcome!

Get tickets for NEW tour at andyparsons.co.uk - Ca...

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Latest News

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3 weeks ago

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT! New tour on sale... Buy your tickets now on my website. Look forward to seeing you there - or hearing you there, if the lights are a bit dazzling. ... See MoreSee Less

3 weeks ago

"My NEW Tour 'Please #@!$ Off To Mars' is due to be announced tomorrow lunchtime. For EXCLUSIVE details that are so EXCITING they are CAPITALISED, please sign up to my mailing list today - link in comments 👇 ... See MoreSee Less

3 weeks ago

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5 months ago

Not much of a view if you’d booked to go to the top of The Shard this evening…. ... See MoreSee Less

8 months ago

Somebody at Avanti West Coast needs to tell somebody else at Avanti West Coast that this train was CANCELLED. How likely am I after my most recent journey to recommend Avanti West Coast to friends, family and colleagues? Well, not to friends or family but there are a few colleagues I might recommend it to. ... See MoreSee Less

9 months ago

So Elon Musk is now frothing about British policing. Perhaps he'd prefer them to follow X's example and sack 80% of the workforce and then do very little policing at all. ... See MoreSee Less

9 months ago

Overhead photo shows that Kishane Thompson can console himself that he may only have a silver medal chest but he does have a gold medal foot. Will no doubt go for a thicker vest next time - or perhaps pierced nipples.... ... See MoreSee Less

10 months ago

Happy retirement Andy Murray - the only MTW audience member to ever get a standing ovation. ... See MoreSee Less

10 months ago

So interest rates have gone down from 5.25% to 5% but inflation is only 2% but that is the CPI not the core CPI which is 3.5% or the RPI which is 2.9% or the CPIH which is 2.8% which is what the RPI will become in 2030 which will be bad news for DBPS but it's VFHOT and JFGI but bottom line is VLFD to RENT. ... See MoreSee Less

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Winner Silver Dolphin Cannes Media Awards 2019 / Winner Best Film EVCOM Awards 2019 / Time Out Award Winner / New Zealand International Comedy Award Winner / Montreal Just For Laughs Comedy Festival Award Winner

Andy is a multi-award winning comedian who started his career writing for Weekending and Smith and Jones, and went on to become one of the main writers on the ground-breaking Spitting Image satirical puppet show. As well as being a regular on Mock The Week for ten years, Andy has performed on numerous radio and TV shows including Live at the Apollo, QI, Saturday Live, The Stand Up Show, The Comedy Store, The PMQ Show, Scrooby Trevithick, and Parsons and Naylor’s Pull-Out Sections.

To date he has done seven sell-out national tours and released four DVDs – Britain’s Got Idiots, Gruntled, Slacktivist and Live And Unleashed – But Naturally Cautious, as well as releasing a podcast Slacktivist Action Group, recorded monthly at the Soho Theatre. He has also appeared on Question Time, The Daily Politics, This Week and Newsnight, and writes columns for The Independent.